The+Moon+Mystery

"The Moon Mystery" by Bridget and Amelia

“Over the hill and far away, Teletubbies come out to play... “Tinky Winky!” “Dipsy!” “Laalaa!” “Po!” Teletubbies. Teletubbies. Say, heeeeee-llo! “Eh-oh!” “This is the bestest show ever,” I said when the theme song to the teletubbies ended! As I continued watching the show I noticed an advertisement on Po's belly TV. It read “MURDER! We need a detective to solve a murder mystery. Please call this number:1-800-777-7777.” “Cheese and crackers! I want that job!” I exclaimed, as I picked up the phone without hesitation. “Hello.” “Hi,” I said awkwardly. There was a pregnant pause. “Uhhhh, what's your name sir?” the operator asked. “Shaggy, Shaggy Rogers. What's yours?” “Sir, does that really matter? I just want to know if you want to be on this case or what.” “Well you're not in a very cheery mood. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!” I asked a little too forcefully. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Okay, my name is Operator.” “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">That's so cool! My parents were going to name me Operator, but then they changed their mind and chose Shaggy!” “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Soooo do you want the job?” “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Yes...Operator What is the crime exactly?.” “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Okay, so there were these two girls named Wampy and Stauffaloaf Smith, and their father got murdered because he mooned a British Popo one night, but we aren't exactly sure what the motive behind it was though so you'll have to figure that out. Stop by the office at around 2:30 tomorrow and ask to see Mr. Sawyer. He will be your partner in this investigation.” “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Okay, see you then bro...Operator.” <span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">After I hung up the cellular device I took four showers, so I could be squeaky clean for tomorrow. Then I went to bed. <span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">When I got up in the morning I went to the office and got there exactly on time, 2:30. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Hi, my name is Shaggy Rodgers!” I exclaimed. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Hello Mr. Rodgers, or should I say <span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">//Detective!// <span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">” There was an awkward delay. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Ummm...okay. I'm here to see Mr. Sawyer.” “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Okay just step into his office and say 'The Duck Flies at Midnight.'” “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Okay that seems a little corny, but why not?” I stepped into his office, and sat there for a while admiring all his knick-knacks. Then I said the code phrase, “The duck flies at midnight.” Then poof he was like a magician, he appeared out of a blast of smoke, and his face was smooth as buddah! He wore a bright yellow suite that made him look like a banana and that guy from <span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">//Curious George// <span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;"> all at the same time! “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Hello Mr. Rodgers,” Mr. Sawyer said in a voice that was also smooth as buddah, “Now that you're here we may begin investigating the two wonderful sisters named Wampy and Stauffaloaf. The two girls came in laughing their heads off but when they saw us they tried to stifle their laughs and sat down. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Okay girls we are going to ask you a ton of questions about your father and then you are going to answer them,” said Mr. Sawyer in his smooth as buddah voice. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Okay,” said the two sisters at the same time. Which was a little creepy. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">So where were you two the night your father was murdered?” I said quite seriously. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Well, Stauffaloaf and I were in the kitchen eating nutella and playing checkers when our mother said she was going to go for a walk because she was mad at our father which was weird because they were never mad at each other,” explained Wampy. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Do you know why your mom was mad?” I asked. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">No.” “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Well that's helpful,” I said sarcastically, “continue” “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Okay, so then we went to bed because we were tired. The end!” Then they got up and left without saying another word. I was positive it wasn't them because they had a pretty good alibi I mean eating nutella and playing checker! Who wouldn't want to do that? <span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">The next person we needed to investigate was Wampy and Stauffaloaf's mom. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Hello Mrs. Smith. We are going to ask you some questions and you just need to answer them. So where were you the night your husband got murdered?” “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Well, I was out taking a walk because I was furious at my husband because my sister, Debby, had called and told me he had sent her a sappy love poem and the second I heard her say that I hung up the phone and took a walk. And as I was walking down the street I saw my husband moon a British Popo. I started laughing because it was pretty funny and the British Popo got really mad. Then all of a sudden I heard a gun shot. I saw him drop to the ground and then the next thing I knew he was dead.” “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">What did you do when you saw he was dead?” I asked her. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">I called 911 and they took him and I went back home and told the girls their father was dead, and they were terribly sad.” “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Okay we've heard enough you can go now,” I said. <span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Next we called in Debby. She told us on the night of the crime she had called her sister, Mrs. Smith, and informed her that Mr. Smith had sent her a sappy love poem but her sister hung up the phone before she could finish. She was about to tell her sister that it was an accident and that the letter had gotten mixed up in the mail. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">It was just a big misunderstanding,” said Debby. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Yes, yes it was. Okay you can leave now, Debby,” I said. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Yeah just leave!” Exclaimed Mr. Sawyer. I could tell he was trying to play the bad cop. Then after Debby left I asked Mr. Sawyer if he wanted to go catch a movie because all this detective stuff was getting pretty mundane. But no! He wanted to be all professional and go check out the crime scene. Fine then Mr. Whatever your first name is Sawyer! <span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">So the next day Mr. Sawyer and I went to the crime scene. It was in a lovely neighborhood and all the houses and families were so nice. Most of the families said they heard a gunshot and were worried because everybody is always in their house at that time of night. When Mr. Sawyer and I heard this we concluded that the only people around the neighborhood when Mr. Smith, Mrs. Smith, and the British Popo. And conveniently the British Popo was there at the crime scene so we decided to investigate him and a mime we saw, but we didn’t get much out of him. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Hello Mr. Officer can you answer a few questions about the murder that took place here?” I asked politely. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Sure,” he said. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Where were you at the scene of the crime?” I asked. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">I was right over there,” he said pointing to some bushes. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Can you tell us what happened when you were over there?” “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">I was standing over there when this strange and extremely awkward man came running up to me and mooned me. I got really angry and threatened to shoot him in the buttox, but then he just fell over and he was dead.” “Interesting...” I thought. Maybe it was the British Popo after all. I mean he did seem pretty ticked off that he got mooned by a crazy guy so maybe he's a psycho and has anger management issues. Or… maybe it was Mrs. Smith! She did say after all that she was furious with Mr. Smith because he sent a sappy love poem to her sister (on accident) and maybe killing him was her revenge for being a “bad husband.” <span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">**Bum bum bummm..!** <span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">I called up Mrs. Smith and told her to meet us at the office. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">It was you all along!” I shouted. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said sounding bored. I could tell she was good under pressure. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">You killed Mr. Smith! You!” I screamed. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Hey, hey, hey! Now everybody just calm down. I'm sure we can settle this over a plate of cookies and some milk,” said Mr. Sawyer very unmanly like. okay so now he wants to be the good cop! He just needs to make up his mind that buttery-faced Mr. Sawyer! “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">That sounds nice. I'll take a cookie! What kind are they?” asked Mrs. Smith. “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">TELL US WHAT YOU DID!” screamed Mr. Sawyer. okay seriously that guy just needs to make up his mind! Good cop or bad cop? Make a decision! “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Okay fine! It was me! Me me me!” She said sounding a little selfish, “But it was because he was being a bad husband and didn't write <span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">//me// <span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;"> a sappy love poem!” “<span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Ummm... he <span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">//did.// <span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">It just got mixed up in the mail that's why it got sent to your sister. I mean jeez way to overreact!” I said while Mrs. Smith just rolled her eyes, “okay well since you confessed I'm calling the cops now.” <span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">When the cops arrived they thanked us for catching her, and then took her away to prison where she will stay forever, and ever, and ever. <span style="font-family: Tuffy,sans-serif;">Mr. Sawyer and I finally saw that new movie, and it was AWESOME!!!